Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
