What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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