They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
