it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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