it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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