Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
