youre lurking in front of me
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
