when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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