Why does Corona taste like a burp?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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