does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
