i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Dignity is for republicans.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
