I need help removing her.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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