The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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