I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
