That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
