I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
