so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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