She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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