By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
