farters have to be the big spoon...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize