I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
