Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
