my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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