Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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