Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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