I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
