I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you will always have a special place in my vag
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
