I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
