they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
