Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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