and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I CAN MOONWALK!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
