i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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