I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
