Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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