Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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