Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
