i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
