I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
