as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
