His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
