dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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