Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize