I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
