My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
