So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
