Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize