I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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