you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Text me some of your sweat
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
