East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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