Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
