we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I puked a lego.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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