i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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