A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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