oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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