the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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