is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize