fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
