Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
