I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
