ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
