i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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